New York’s highly-anticipated launch of CitiBike has brought the requisite pro– and anti-cycling freakouts from all corners of the Internet—or, rather, all American corners of the Internet, because people in Europe and Asia have been using bike-share programs for ages and nobody gives a shit.

I used CityBike in Vienna quite often—sometimes just to ride around for fun and get lost, other times to get somewhere—as did innumerable residents and tourists alike. Everyone loved CityBike—or, if they didn’t, they certainly didn’t go on borderline-incomprehensible antigovernment rants about it (despite CitiBike being 100 percent privately operated), which then devolved once again into the usual stable of anecdotally-based faux-data about cyclists: law-flouting anarchists whose superpowers emanate primarily from not having a real job and ruining the American way of life: we are Americans, and we drive everywhere, and it works out great for us (or not…check the young…